It's funny how healing sneaks up on you. One day you are sitting in your therapist's office talking through your eating disorder behaviors and then months pass and you start flipping through pictures on your phone and notice a pattern that was forming without you even realizing it.
You notice a genuine laugh captured in a selfie with your husband and son.
You see a level of peace on your face that you once thought was unattainable.
You marvel at the ease with which you walked for a charity close to your heart with friends who are just as close.
You laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of this picture in the middle of the Color Walk and then almost cry because you love how perfectly it captures your friendship and how lucky you are to have such a friend..
And your heart is so happy when your sweet friend sends you this picture after you have rushed the stage at the Darrius Rucker concert because you feel pretty and you just want to dance!
And you exhale deeply because you find this quote that you saved months ago hoping it would one day make sense...and all of a sudden it does.
Healing is a funny thing. It's a bit like growing up...you don't see it while it's happening to you, but it is happening nonetheless.
Now that it has happened, I can see it so clearly. I can feel it in my bones. I have settled in. I have waved the white flag on the war against myself. I have become...me.